The Lineup is a monthly series where we’re giving you an inside peek at the beauty lineups of cool fashion people, editors, makeup artists, hairstylists, and aestheticians—all the people we trust the most. Get ready for a behind-the-scenes look at all the can’t-live-without products that make their worlds go ’round.
Everyone has that one friend they can talk to about anything, and for me, that’s Michaela d’Artois. We’ve been close friends for nearly 15 years—we lived across the hall from each other freshman year of college—and in that time, we’ve gone through some questionable phases. (I’ll spare you the details.) But each phase has brought us one step closer to where we are now: me, a beauty director, and Michaela, a sexologist and certified sex coach. She’s always been an overachiever, so it’s no surprise that within a few months of completing school, she launched Inner Eros, her private practice for intimacy coaching and sexology.
If you don’t know what a sexologist is, you aren’t alone. But it’s not nearly as risqué as you might imagine. “I study human sexual behaviors, but beyond that, I’m fascinated by how we connect on platonic and romantic levels,” says d’Artois. “My goal is to create a judgement-free community in which we can share helpful resources and educational materials surrounding intimacy, connection, and desire as well as have community dialogue surrounding what these concepts mean in this day in age.”
For d’Artois, the desire to learn and share her knowledge about physical intimacy was always there. “In middle school, I used to joke that I wanted to be a cool sex-ed teacher when I grew up,” she tells me. “I think I also realized at a young age that the teachings were outdated and lacked relevancy.” And as an adult, she continues to see an unsettling pattern. “The lack of understanding surrounding our anatomy and sexual functions is disempowering our ability to exercise those functions to their brilliant and full capacity. The more I immerse myself in the world, the more I realize we aren’t really taught or given the tools to connect and build intimacy (physical and cerebral), which really is, in my opinion, the purpose of life.”
Arguably, the most important person you need to build intimacy with is yourself, and there’s no better time to do that than now, with Valentine’s Day just around the corner. (And if you aren’t into celebrating the holiday of love, at least take this opportunity to celebrate yourself for a moment.) So instead of asking for relationship advice, I asked d’Artois how to best practice self-love. “Self-pleasure,” she told me. “Whether you’re reaching for your favorite decadent chocolate or pleasure device, I always suggest people offer the love they would like to receive on Valentine’s Day to themselves—coupled or single. Carving out time to not walk through life on autopilot but to really be present and enjoy yourself is a little act of self-celebration that can refill your cup. When choosing the self-love practice you want to embark on, I suggest opting for something that engages multiple if not all of your senses! This can be a great way to drop back into your body and connect with your surroundings.”
And with that, I leave you with 18 products d’Artois recommends for practicing self-love.